Knowing my blog isn’t the internet juggernaut that it should be, my powers of acquiring badass people to interview are slim to none. However, there are some people that are forced to answer my questions whether they want to or not… and those people are the ChaCha Guides. These are real people that answer my ridiculous questions and bar bets via text message and drunk voicemails in a pleasant, concise text right to my phone. No more… “we’ll look it up later, brah”. NO! We’ll find out NOW, son. It is possibly the greatest service ever conceived in the quest of instant, useless, and sometimes actually informative, knowledge. Thanks to these people all over the country, and my unlimited texting, I give you…The ChaCha Interview.
Couple of notes:
1. Due to the fact that I think whichever guide picks my questions out of the queue answers it, I’m going to try my best to make this sound like an actual conversation.
2. ChaCha won’t answer rude or crude (yes I got that from the Ninja Turtles theme song) questions, I’ve had to censor myself, much to my chagrin.
3. All these questions were literally answered in about 1-2 minutes. I’m being super serial.
High Definite: ChaCha can I ask you a few questions for my blog High Definite?
ChaCha: Of course! ChaCha is here for you 24/7!
High Definite: Noyce. First question: Can you give me a one sentence description of what ChaCha does?
ChaCha: ChaCha is a human-powered search and answers service. Thanks for using ChaCha! Anymore questions?
High Definite: Yes… yes there are. How Many ChaCha guides are there and how are you paid?
ChaCha: There are guides in every state of the U.S. and we are independent contractors, we get paid per question. Thanks, ChaCha on!
High Definite: Indeed, ChaCha on. Quick skills question: Why do white people love Wayne Brady?
Hint to the Reader: (It’s in the second paragraph.)
ChaCha: White people love Wayne Brady because he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcom X. ChaCha on!
High Definite: Nailed It. Okay another skills question…if you could play any Guitar Hero song right now, which one would it be?
ChaCha: Hmm… I think I would go with No Rain by Blind Melon, I love that song. Thanks for using Chacha!
High Definite: Who do you blame for the crappy economy?
ChaCha: I blame the banks for issuing loans to people who couldn’t afford it. That was the beginning of this whole issue.
High Definite: Okay another company question. How does ChaCha make money?
ChaCha: ChaCha earns revenue from advertising and through its strategic partnerships. ChaCha is free so keep asking questions! Std msg rate may apply.
High Definite: One final question, what is the wildest question ever answered by a ChaCha guide or by you?
ChaCha: The wildest for me was “will you marry me” I mean what if I would have said yes?!?!
High Definite: Welp, that’s all of them. Thanks for the interview. I’ve been chacha-ing for a while now and I’ve got to say your backside is breathtaking. You guys rock real hard.
ChaCha: Thanks! Have a good day!
You can start chacha-ing by either texting ChaCha (242242) or call 1.800.2ChaCha and leave a message.
– The High’Def