Dane Cook FINALLY Gets His Comeuppance

23 09 2008
That joke was funny... right guys?  Right?

That joke was funny... right guys? Right? How bout this? RAAGARAHARHAIRHAHAIERHAHFAHF!!

Yeah that’s spelled right. (booyah).  So Dane Cook is being threatened with eviction from his apartment due to the fact that he doesn’t clean up his dog’s shit.  He claims he doesn’t want to leave because his heroes, John Belushi and Steve Martin, used to live in that same complex back in the day, and he needs that presence to get over writer’s block.  TMZ reports: 

Cook claims he only rented the apartment in the first place because his heroes, Belushi and Martin, used to live in the same complex back in the day, and according to the court docs filed in L.A. County Superior Court, he would suffer serious “mental and emotional” damage — and his career would crumble — if he was forced to leave. In the docs, Cook claims, “I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration.”

Cook went on to say, “In the same way that writers can get writer’s block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and ‘stories’; I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment. I’ve seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it’s destroyed careers.”

In the three pages of desperate begging and pleading for the judge to hear his appeal, Cook also adds that he will cut a $40,000 check to the owner of the apartment ASAP to cover all of the suffering that his dookie-droppin’ doggie has caused, if he is allowed to stay.

I usually don’t get involved with asinine stories about short-bus celebrities that piss me off, but Dane Cook’s had this coming for a while.  This isn’t the first time he’s left shit lying around and not picking up after himself.   There’re the numerous stand up routines where he’s just screaming and jumping around like a raving derelict (also spelled right, suck it) , the horrendously not funny movies (including the one that just bombed at the box office), and that ridiculous tour which still staggers the mind with the amount of retarded attendees at the finale.  He should have been evicted from the Earth years ago, maybe this will be the first step in the right direction.  I know there are a lot of Dane Cook fans out there, and I would apologize, but I also know that most of them are also huge fans of coloring books and safety scissors… so I won’t.  I hope this judge has the balls to go through with this…because that’s what heroes do.



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