Roommate Confessions

21 10 2008

Via CollegeHumor:

“In the past year I’ve stolen over 150 dollars from you. I’ve masturbated in your bed. I’ve worn your clothes and put them back without asking you. I’ve purposely eaten all of your food or spit in what I didn’t eat. I fed your beta fish to my cat. I peed in the corner behind your bed and acted like I didn’t smell anything causing you to have to shampoo the carpets. I threw your laptop on the ground causing the screen to break then put it back in your bag so that you thought it was your fault and I ‘accidentally’ stepped on your ipod then put it under a pair of your jeans so you thought it was your fault. Oh yeah, and remember the time you brought that new bottle of shampoo online that was 100 dollars? Yeah, I took it all out and put it in an empty shampoo bottle for me to use then replaced yours with regular dollar general shampoo. That will teach you to try and flirt with my boyfriend!”

Christine Jeckols, School Not Given, Bitter Skank

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