“We’ve all seen the old pen-to-the-neck trick in movies, but how many pens could actually be up to the task? Well, the Mil-Tac Tactical Defense Pen ($89) isn’t just up to it — it was designed for it. Made from aircraft grade anodized aluminum, the pen features a pointed end, for use as a defense tool, a blunt end which can be used as a control device, an integrated clip, and, of course, a refillable pen inside.”
Pssssh… Pesci did it with a fucking Bic like it was no big deal. Anyway, I’m glad I don’t have one of these (yet).
“Can you come in here so we can talk about your poor performance and general lack of proper work attire?”
“Sure, let me get my pen…”