10 Things I Hate About Commandments

26 02 2009

“What happened here was a miracle, and I want you to fuckin acknowledge it.”

Movie Spoilers: Oscar Edition

18 02 2009

Haiku Reviews #1

9 02 2009

Caught a couple flicks over the weekend. Since there are other sites that do this way better than me and I’m just too plain lazy to write full reviews, I’m going back to my roots and using Haiku form.


They Took His Daughter

He Killed A Lot Of People

Just Like He Promised

Grade: B


Clint Eastwood Is Old

Foreign People Piss Him Off

I Learned New Slur Words

Grade: B-

Thundercats Are Gooooo!!!

22 12 2008

“Thundercats live action fanmade trailer using Hollywood actors Brad Pitt, Vin Diesel and Hugh Jackman among others. All the effects were done frame by frame in Photoshop.”

So well done…they should just let this guy direct the movie.

Blu-Ray Is Killing Old Movies

19 12 2008


So I was watching Robocop on Blu-Ray last night and I’ve got to say, watching it in Blu-Ray format has completely ruined the movie for me.  To give you a little background, I first saw Robocop when I was 9 years old, and it was one of my fond movie-watching memories from my childhood.  He was a fucking robot!  I loved the movie and can honestly say Kurtwood Smith (Red Forman) plays one of the craziest bastards in recent cinematical history.   Now, the quality of Blu-Ray is indeed awesome, and my feelings towards normal DVDs are now identical to my feelings towards non-HD TV channels.  Yeah, you have them, but who the fuck cares?  HD Please.  So, I was “going to piss myself” excited about my memories of gratuitous violence, extreme levels of gore, and over-the-top special effects (for the time) only being more extreme in crystal-clear, color corrected, 1080p glory.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

More after the jump:

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Superbad As An Action Film

16 12 2008

Still one of the funniest movies around…suck it.

Every Monster Movie You’ve Ever Seen

11 12 2008

Brilliant. Via The Onion.